how uninspiring...

Well, I attended a boring course today. Ugh..., I feel like I'm going to meditate rather than listening to any of the instructions or speech or whatever it is... I'm thinking of creating a piece right now (FYI: If I ever mention the word 'piece', it means a poem). Not a problem anyway. At least I can deliver & express my feelings today into a positive energy. I'm done here. My neck had stiffened. One of the reason I hate sitting in front of a computer for too long in an incomprehensive, discomfort space. Not to mention that my laptop is now on my lap (it explains why it is called laptop). I wish I could just lay on the bed (or beach but not during the sunny sunshine shines you to burn) right now enjoying the exquisite experience in some 5 stars chalet or in a country house. Wait... I said I'd done above, right? I think I should... Until then, you're gonna miss me... You Know You Love Me, XOXO... hehehe (I borrow her line)... See you again

feeling lonely...alone

Honestly, I'm not used to being lonely. Most of the time, there are a lot of people around me but today, I was left alone. Don't think it's a bad thing as in 'my friends leave me because I'm a jerk' thing. I had to attend a course tomorrow, just a day. Pretty obvious I'm a person who can't live alone; without friends. Loneliness like this always bring back ancient memories of mine. Songs I'd heard in my younger days; beautiful poems & inspirational quotes I used to stick at the back of my class (everyone loves it); the years long time ago when I was the art freak; & of course my times with family. That is why I called my mum just now, just to ask the news; how's dad & everyone at home (my cat too - probably overweight now). I think sometimes it's good to be lonely & to feel lonely. It makes me think about the past, the present & the future (I'm not sure if people agree with this but this is what I'd experienced). One of the good thing about being or feeling lonely; it brings family values as the example above; feeling lonely today had made me call my mum. It's been a month I didn't hear anything from my family. It had brought me to tears too... How emotional. Now, I'm doing this blog, expressing what I feel had made me feel a little better. Thank You Allah for making my day a great adventure. Forgive me for all mistakes I've done. Only You The Merciful One

Lost by Anouk lyrics (my favourite song)

I don't know why I fall in love with this song. It played repeatedly in my laptop & my mp3 player the first few weeks after I'd found this song. It's such a beautiful song, soothing, full of emotions, what else... oh, the lyrics...

If roses are meant to be red
And violets to be blue
Why isn't my heart meant for you
My hands longing to touch you
I can barely breath
Starry eyes that make me melt
Right in front of me
Lost in this world
I even get lost in this song
And when the lights go down
That is where I'll be found

This music is irresistible
Your voice makes my skin crawl
Innocent and pure
I guess you heard it all before
Mister inaccessible
Will this ever change
One thing that remains the same
You're still a picture in a frame

Lost in this world
I even get lost in this song
And when the lights go down
That is where I'll be found

I get lost in this world
I get lost in your eyes
And when the lights go down
That is where I'll be found

I get lost in this world
I get lost in your eyes
So, when the lights go down
That's where I'll be found
Am I the only one

Indahnya ciptaan Allah S.W.T

Mengimbas kembali kali pertama mengharungi Jeram Pelagus (Sungai Rajang, Kapit, Sarawak), terucap kalimah 'Subhanallah' apabila menyaksikan betapa besarnya ciptaan Allah S.W.T berbanding dengan apa yang telah manusia ciptakan malah mereka (manusia) begitu berbangga dengan betapa besar bangunan yang mereka hasilkan, betapa tinggi pencakar langit yang mereka dirikan. Sesungguhnya, tiada satu pun daripada bangunan raksasa ciptaan manusia mampu berdiri sekukuh gunung & tiada juga menara tinggi yang mampu mencecah langit ciptaan-Nya. Menyaksikan Jeram Pelagus ini cukup menginsafkan diriku yang selama ini leka dengan dunia ciptaan manusia. Ganasnya Jeram Pelagus ini mengingatkan aku kepada rancangan dokumentari dalam siaran televisyen Animal Planet. Umpama singa lapar mengejar antelope untuk dijadikan habuannya. Pada 1 April 2006, sekolahku digemparkan dengan satu kejadian yang berkait rapat dengan Jeram pelagus ini. Guru Besar sekolahku, pergi buat selama-lamanya pada tarikh tersebut setelah terjatuh dari bot ekspres (pengangkutan utama di sini) lalu terus ditelan arus ganas Jeram Pelagus. Kejadian ini sekali lagi mengingatkan aku bahawa ajal itu telah ditetapkan oleh-Nya tidak kira di mana sahaja tempat, selamat atau bahaya, bila sudah tiba masanya, kita akan kembali kepada-Nya jua.
Pada pagi Jumaat minggu lepas, 24 April 2009, seorang rakan sekerja menjerit-jerit memanggilku seolah-olah ada kecemasan sedang berlaku atau dia memerlukan bantuanku. Lantasku berlari-lari anak ke arahnya yang sedang memerhatikan sesuatu di pagar sekolah. Sebaik sahaja aku tiba, kulihat dia sedang menuding jarinya ke arah pagar & aku terus dapat mengagak ada haiwan atau serangga yang unik sedang dilihatnya. Jangkaanku tepat setelah kulihat sendiri makhluk ciptaan Allah S.W.T (gambar di atas) yang tidak pernah pun dalam hidupku selama ini menyaksikannya. "Subhanallah," kalimah yang terkeluar dari mulutku setelah melihat dengan lebih dekat ciptaan-Nya yang begitu indah ini. Tanpa membuang masa terusku mengambil gambarnya kerana belum tentu aku berpeluang melihatnya lagi selepas ini. Aku begitu bersyukur ditempatkan di kawasan pedalaman kerana berpeluang menikmati anugerah Allah S.W.T. Pesanku kepada bakal-bakal guru, sekiranya anda ditempatkan di kawasan pedalaman, anggaplah peluang tersebut sebagai satu anugerah buat anda.